Something I Love...And a Little Something Else

I need to do more homeschooling posts.  Here's something I love about homeschooling....sharpening the colored pencils while she works on her math...I love it!!  Don't ask me why...maybe the mix of colors against the background of the plain wood shavings??  Whatever it is it is very soothing to me and makes me happy to look at when I'm done.  :)  Of course I also love to hear her doing her adding and counting and so forth too....but it's not quite as colorful.  :)  Oh yeah...totally different subject, but if you love Target and amazing stamped jewlery...you have to do go here!  I'll be back soon!  Good weekend to you all!

I've missed this place

It's been a month!!!  I can't believe I stayed away for so long!  Here's what has been happening in a nut shell:

1.  went to visit my parents in South Carolina with the 2 little ones...so fun!!!

2.  husband went to kansas for flight refresher course for USMC...not fun

3.  I had over 30 sales in my etsy shop!!!  woo hoo!!!  (we desperately need the 2nd income...even if it's a little...i figure if I love it AND can make a bit extra then it's a win-win, right??) :)

4.  my daughter is doing "real" math in our home school curriculum!!

5.  my son used the potty more times than he ever has (he's 2 yrs 10mos old)

6.  I turned 32...yep...I'll still give out my age...probably only until I'm 35 though :)

7.  my husband actually made plans for my birthday!!  (got a babysitter, made reservations, AND took me to one of my favorite restaurants in San Diego's gas lamp district) he got major points for that!

8.  I finally own a Bunn coffee maker (if you love coffee and you don't like to wait, this coffee brewer is    AMAZING!!)

9.  I had coffee with an amazing lady from Etsy who lives in my neck of the woods!  (She is seriously the main reason I started having sales in my shop)

10.  We set off rockets with the kids (see pics) :)

I promise the next post will not be in list form!

A TOTALLY RANDOM POST

This is Toby, my son.  He is 2 1/2 yrs old and he is the source of much joy and much frustration (he's 2 AND he's a boy...need I say more?). :)  That being said, he's my son and I love the sound of that.  

I have a friend who told me prior to having my little boy that when she first held her boy for the first time, she said, "my son."  I often think of that as I spend time with him throughout the day.  He is so different from my daughter and so different from me, but I am constantly in awe of him.  I can't believe I was ever afraid that I wouldn't be able to love a boy as much as I do my daughter.  He is so precious to me and is constantly teaching me not to be such a worry wart - although yes, he does get hurt (A LOT), he never cries longer than a minute or two (even when he needed stitches).  I LOVE him...and just felt overwhelmed with love for him yesterday as he sat with on his car outside eating a cookie (recipe here), talking to the birds and doing boy stunts (he eventually moved to a standing position on the car (that's when I had to put the camera down and become a worry wart). :)  So...I thought I'd give my son a proper introduction...that's all. Have a lovely lovely weekend!  Don't forget to go here and put in a comment to win a free bird cage.

CHRISTMAS IS HERE

Ahhhh...the twinkling Christmas lights, the tree, and the home decor came out this weekend. It is simply magical to watch. I love twinkling lights! Something about them makes everything feel cozy, magical, even emotional. As I watched my 2 yr old son put on ornaments this year and pull out ornaments that were created by his big-big-sister (my step daughter), I couldn't help but get teary eyed. December 12th will mark a year since the decision was made by a family court judge to allow her to move to her mother's after living with her father for 8 years (and with me for 6 years). In some ways I am so happy to have made it through this year, but on some days I can hardly believe that our family has become so incomplete without her here. I put an ornament on the tree that she had made during December of last year at her school. She was smiling a silly 8-yr-old smile that just hit me so hard. I had to go in her room and "let it out." She was so happy here and as I looked at that picture I thought how sad it was that at that moment in time she had no idea how much her life was going to change in the next month. Ok...so I'm getting sappy instead of excited about my tree and our lights, etc. Anyways...she'll be here the day after Christmas this year and hopefully it will be a week of joy and laughter and togetherness. So...to end...it was a wonderful feeling to put up the tree and remind the children of Jesus' birthday, but also a small, sad reminder that our family is minus one until she returns. I pray that although she is far away and in a home so different from ours that she will remember what Christmas is all about and be filled with excitement for her next visit. Thanks for reading my sappiness! :) Oops...pictures are out of order! Oh....and remember I take horrible pictures, so yes...these are the best ones I captured! Pretty horrible, huh? Oh, well...maybe that can be a New Year's resolution! :)

CONTENT AND GRATEFUL

Well, I have to be honest. I stopped posting for a while because....well....I didn't feel very thankful. There, I said it. It was so hard to go to Facebook and read everyone's "thankful posts". I just wasn't feeling it. I thought to myself, "here I am the week before Thanksgiving with my step daughter visiting, hardly any money because we had to pay so much to fly her here, and my husband and I have been fighting over everything." Yes, I was having a major pity party and being totally selfish. If I could only find the words to share with you on how wrong I was to feel so ungrateful! God has done some AMAZING things in my life and our family that I shouldn't let a day go by without thanking him for the life I have. You see, there was a time a few years back when I made a choice that almost made me lose my ability to raise my own children. It was a time when I didn't know if my new husband (very new) was going to stay married to me. Everything was up for grabs. Thank you Jesus for pulling me out of the pits last week and waking me from my ungratefulness! I went to church on Sunday feeling desperate to hear from God and grasp onto to anything and did he ever give me something to go on! Sometimes I think God is so funny how he works. I actually didn't even decide to go to church until the very last minute. My husband had plans to go to a football game and wasn't going to be able to go to church and make the game on time, so I thought I might as well stay home with him, but like I said I went. The whole way there I was speeding because I had left so late and I didn't want to miss more worship songs than I had to...that's my favorite part of course. When I got there I only got about a song and a half and then it was time to sit. I was pouting on the inside. Then the youth pastor gets up to preach (I had forgotten the pastor would be out of town for his daughter's wedding.) I pouted some more. Some more brutal honesty here...I thought there was no way God was going to teach me anything using the youth pastor's sermon....I mean, come on - his sermons are geared towards kids, right? :) Yeah, right. He had the most amazing sermon and at one point he made a side note about the lies that can get in our heads and directly affect how we treat the people around us and how we feel. We know where those lies come from...NOT from God. Then he said this..."You know, the lies that say, "I can't believe you're still dealing with that", "You are the worst person ever", "You'll never be like her/him/them, etc". This may mean nothing to you as a reader of this post/blog, but this hit me like a complete ton of bricks. This was and is me A LOT of the time! But, like he said, these are lies! How dare I let those lies cover up the joy and happiness that Jesus has brought into my life. Those lies are sent to destroy the contentment I should be feeling on a daily basis because my life has been restored! Thank you God for using the youth pastor to reveal this truth to me! Needless to say, I feel more content and thankful this week than I have in a long, long, time. God has totally changed my life and I would be happy to share about it in depth if you are curious about the details. If not, I will continue to post more regularly about my life, my kids, my crafts, etc. Be thankful every day!

HOW DO YOU HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT?

The most disappointing thing I can imagine has happened and my son's expression in this picture is exactly how I feel. I found out last night that I might not be going to Hawaii after all to be reunited with my husband. This was the worst news imaginable to me at this point in the deployment. The vision of being in Hawaii alone with my husband was all that got me through the last half of this 7 month deployment and now it's all up for grabs due to the possibility of the swine flu on his ship. I got this news via email right before putting my kids to bed...note to self - don't check email before they go to bed. It immediately put me in a very "downer" mood, not to mention extremely irritable mood. The kids seemed to know exactly what buttons to push and boy did they! It was an awful night of me yelling (yes, I do that sometimes unfortunately) and them seeming to be VERY disobedient. After finally getting to the living room without them following me, I sat down and after crying and praying and just feeling so unmotivated to do anything but curl up and die, I realized what an awful example I had been for them in dealing with disappointment. Although they knew little about what I was upset about, my 4 yr old knew that I might not be going to Hawaii to pick up daddy anymore. This was good news to her as she has been very intent on letting me know she's "big enough to go with me to get daddy", but she could also sense that it was sad for me because she mentioned that I should pray about it. I'm sad to say that today wasn't much better for me, but I am convinced that sometimes things happen to us as adults that don't seem to come as often as they did in our childhood, i.e - disappointment. When you're a child disappointment is an everyday occurrence - learning you have to share your brand new favorite toy, realizing that you can't have candy first thing in the morning, and having a babysitter put you to bed when all you want is your parent(s). These are all disappointments that we have to deal with as children, but slowly we become adults and disappointments seem to show up a lot less often and as they do they almost become more difficult to deal with because they're no longer a daily occurrence. So...what do I do now?? I wait. I pray. I ask God for patience and believe that whatever his plans are will be perfect for me. Is this easy? NO!!!! If I find myself getting impatient and easily irritated with my children tomorrow I will take a break and realize that I'm only 31 and Hawaii can still happen at some point in my future. I am also going to remind myself that I live in San Diego - it is beautiful here...all year long! I also know that even though I perceive Hawaii to be a paradise that I long to see, my eternal paradise will be so much more!

ANOTHER WEEK CLOSER!!

Well, if any of you have been following my blog or checking out my Etsy shop, you know I'm having an "anticipation" sale to celebrate my upcoming reunion with my husband after his 7 month deployment! :) So...this week all items in my shop will now be 40% off!! That's a huge discount and I'll be adding some more things later this week, so take advantage of it while it lasts! In case you're wondering...only 17 more days until I leave!! I hope everyone enjoyed this glorious weekend! We are fortunate enough to live in a neighborhood with other military families who really look out for each other and I've never felt "alone" on a holiday while my husband has been gone. We spent the afternoon with neighbors and friends and watched beautiful San Diego fireworks! I have to constantly remind myself to truly enjoy this place because we probably won't be here forever. It is so nice not to have humidity and be swatting at our legs/arms/etc. because of annoying bugs! I've lived in the south too...so I feel for ya'll. :) Oh yeah...the cake pictured here is one I've made a few times from The Pioneer Woman's website from Barefoot Contessa. It is amazing! I substituted strawberries simply because raspberries weren't on sale this week. :) Hey...I'm trying to watch my budget...remember? Oh...and yes...I forgot to put the "stars" of frosting in between the blueberries! Oops...I don't think anyone noticed or cared. :) Enjoy the last couple of hours of the weekend and please take advantage of my sale!

Another week has gone by....better sale for you!!

Ok...so on with my "anticipation sale" in my Etsy shop. You can now save 20% on every order. I will send a refund via paypal or you can wait for a revised invoice from paypal. This week went by faster than last. I can't believe in just over a month I will see him.....my husband. I am more nervous, excited, giddy by the day! Ok...that's enough of that. Let's see...what else?? This weekend includes a birthday party, preparing my step daughter's room for her summer visit, baking dessert for a neighborhood pizza party, and church. Father's day will be spent with an older couple at church that are almost like surrogate grandparents for my kids. I encourage everyone out there to find an older couple that can serve as mentors, grandparents, shoulders to lean on in times of crisis, etc. They are so important to us as a military family. We have no family near us, so to have found people like them is a literally a "God-send". Have a blessed weekend!!

Anticipation

Wow...2 posts in a week....this might be a new record....or rather a new beginning.  :)  So, my husband has been deployed now for close to 6 months and in a short time (sometime in July) we will be reunited in Hawaii!!!  Yes, Hawaii....aghhhhh the epitome of tropical paradise....right?  I'm just guessing because I've never actually been there!!  My first time in Hawaii will be with my husband of almost 6 years and WITHOUT kids!!!  Yikes...it's almost too exciting to think about.  It has been consuming my every thought.  We try to have a date night every month when he's here, but this will be 4 nights in a row without children and post-deployment.  I don't think I've been this giddy since high school about an upcoming event.  So...in honor of my fast approaching trip and my endless thoughts of walking on amazing beaches and just being with my man I am going to have a progressive sale in my Etsy shop.  Starting tonight, Friday, June 12th and continuing with each Friday until I leave on my trip, I will be discounting my entire shop by 10%.  This will be like an exciting count down for me and hopefully fun for my customers as well.  Whatever I add to my shop between now and then will be included in the sale at whatever the current discount is.  Don't worry...I will let you know when it's the final week.  All prices will return to normal after I return from my trip!  Oh yeah...don't forget my shop name is Becaruns.  

AWESOME GIVEAWAY...and a short update.

Ok...I have found the coolest site...there are giveaways all the time and this one in particular caught my eye and I really want it!!  Go check it out at kiddio.org.  

I also wanted to let people know what is going on with our court stuff.  Tomorrow morning at 9am we will know what the judge will decide about custody of my step daughter.  We had court today and it wasn't pretty.  Both sides got attacked by the judge and I had to hear all about the sins of my youth as if I am still that person.  We had the support of a few close friends that stayed all day with us in court and if it weren't for them I don't know if I could have handled the words that were being spoken.  At the end of the day the judge was unable to come to a decision so we were told to return tomorrow morning.  If you happen to read this tonight or in the morning, please keep us in your prayers as this has been emotionally exhausting and we are trying to be open to whatever God's will is.  

There's been so much going on in our family and we've been trying to keep up with the holiday spirit despite the fact that my stepdaughter will most likely be leaving to live with her mother by the end of the month.  So, here are some pictures of something we did today and we got the idea from http://flipflopsandapplesauce.blogspot.com/.  She has a pretty cool blog and I didn't know until today that she is Lisa Leonard's sister!!   She has some amazing jewelry and I want some!  :)  So...here's the pics...no snow here in San Diego, so we have to make our own!  My younger daughter obviously stuck to a much simpler (is that a word?) design than my stepdaughter. :)  Oh...and my son...he just thought the glitter and glue was cool for about 2 minutes and then he was so over it. :)  Such a boy!  Happy Holidays!  Oh yeah...and if anyone reads this...please go vote for my card (LETTER "S") at http://mylilyeden.blogspot.com 

I know my card is not the best by far, but at least I'm being honest...I want that Target gift card! :)  

TIME WILL TELL

I'd thought I'd write in orange to honor the fall season and all the beautiful pumpkins! :)  Have you ever been at a point in your life where there was a possibility that things might change forever?  Maybe you are thinking of the night before you got married, or when you took your first pregnancy test, or the night day before your first "due date".  Well, my life is at one of those crossroads.  Sometime either tomorrow or on Monday I will find out whether or not my step-daughter will continue to live here with her dad and I.  A court psychiatrist was assigned to evaluate everyone involved in this and make a recommendation to the judge as to where would be best for her  - here or there.  My husband has had custody of her since she was 11 months old.  She is now 8, soon to be 9.  I have been fortunate enough to raise her for the majority of her life so far.  She had just turned 3 when we got married.  Her mother has fought for custody since losing her in the very beginning.  Yes, for almost 8 years my husband has had to defend his right to raise his daughter.  Because he is in the USMC, we have moved several times and each time she re-tries the custody case because it is a new state and therefore a new jurisdiction to hear her crap/lies.  Our justice system has a lot of corrections to be made...this being one of them.  We have spent over $200,000 on this and it seems to never have an end in sight...until my step-daughter is old enough to choose (12 yrs old).   There is much much more to this story (including a MONUMENTAL mistake I made early in our marriage that gave her mother even more to attack us with), but basically by this time on Tuesday (at the latest) my whole world might change.  I had to blog about this because it is eating up every single second I am not doing something.  My 4 yr old and my 15 month old would miss her terribly.  She is an incredible child....difficult, but incredible.  This is NOT to say that it has been a piece of cake to raise her and love her....it has not, but now that I am forced to think that there's a 50% chance she could be gone after the holidays I realize the gift I have been given the past couple of years.  Although I often think of the "alone times" most people have when they first get married that we did not have and the times where I just wanted to go back to being "child-less" (this was very early in our marriage), I wouldn't change any of the time I've had with her.  She has made me more patient, more understanding, more care-free, and changed my perspective in so many ways.  God - please hear our prayers....don't take her away from us.