I'd thought I'd write in orange to honor the fall season and all the beautiful pumpkins! :) Have you ever been at a point in your life where there was a possibility that things might change forever? Maybe you are thinking of the night before you got married, or when you took your first pregnancy test, or the night day before your first "due date". Well, my life is at one of those crossroads. Sometime either tomorrow or on Monday I will find out whether or not my step-daughter will continue to live here with her dad and I. A court psychiatrist was assigned to evaluate everyone involved in this and make a recommendation to the judge as to where would be best for her - here or there. My husband has had custody of her since she was 11 months old. She is now 8, soon to be 9. I have been fortunate enough to raise her for the majority of her life so far. She had just turned 3 when we got married. Her mother has fought for custody since losing her in the very beginning. Yes, for almost 8 years my husband has had to defend his right to raise his daughter. Because he is in the USMC, we have moved several times and each time she re-tries the custody case because it is a new state and therefore a new jurisdiction to hear her crap/lies. Our justice system has a lot of corrections to be made...this being one of them. We have spent over $200,000 on this and it seems to never have an end in sight...until my step-daughter is old enough to choose (12 yrs old). There is much much more to this story (including a MONUMENTAL mistake I made early in our marriage that gave her mother even more to attack us with), but basically by this time on Tuesday (at the latest) my whole world might change. I had to blog about this because it is eating up every single second I am not doing something. My 4 yr old and my 15 month old would miss her terribly. She is an incredible child....difficult, but incredible. This is NOT to say that it has been a piece of cake to raise her and love her....it has not, but now that I am forced to think that there's a 50% chance she could be gone after the holidays I realize the gift I have been given the past couple of years. Although I often think of the "alone times" most people have when they first get married that we did not have and the times where I just wanted to go back to being "child-less" (this was very early in our marriage), I wouldn't change any of the time I've had with her. She has made me more patient, more understanding, more care-free, and changed my perspective in so many ways. God - please hear our prayers....don't take her away from us.
I am writing today b/c I'm so excited someone found my blog and it's a super-talented girl from The Lemon Tree Studio shop over at Etsy.
Her blog, mylilyeden.blogspot.com, is so cute too! So, I'm staying true to my word and sending her that gift certificate!!
I am also writing to share a picture of my little girl. She is my middle child and she just turned 4 two weeks ago. I love her and she is my angel...although she rarely acts like that these days. I am constantly frustrated by her lack of listening skills, but at the end of each day I am still amazed by her beauty and sincere heart. I have a friend who is a photographer and took this picture of her and I feel like it really captures the light in her eyes. I am starting to fear she will make the same mistakes I did just because she is starting to look like me. Isn't that silly?? She looked so much like my husband when she was born, but now not so much. I am hoping she keeps her goals in line and really works to please her heavenly father first and foremost and nobody else on this earth. I wish I had done that all along. Hopefully I will have some more regular readers by the end of the month and I'm hoping to host a give away or two. My first one!! I hope I learn more about this blogging adventure by then. :)
Oh yeah...one more thing....I haven't been doing too great with the sugar thing, but I vow to work harder and I did clean out my computer cabinet/desk after blogging about it last time. I'll have to share a pic sometime...it really looks neat. :) So many little projects in my house to get done. I'm hoping to get a lot done while my husband is gone. He deploys for 7 months in January. :(
Well, I'm a runner, a wanna-be organized mom, a too-much-sugar-eating mom, a trying-to-pay-off-debt mom, a learning-to-blog mom, a learning-to-be-frugal mom, appreciating my children more, trying to be more patient, etc, etc. There seems to be a running list in my head of who I want to be every morning and who I end up being at the end of every day. I suppose my children have a little bit to do with my unaccomplished list of wanna-be traits, but mostly it's just a lack of discipline. I love being a runner and that takes a lot of discipline, but why can't I have that same discipline in every other area? Hmmmm....this gets me thinking. Maybe I'll start writing my progress down - along with each specific trait I want to obtain and/or change. How's that for honesty?? I still have a lot to reveal about myself along the way and my first order of business is to be more consistent in these posts!! I also realize that right now I'm basically talking to myself since nobody has discovered my wonderful blog yet - that's sarcasm since I don't have a clue what I'm doing on here really. So, my journey begins as an open and honest blogger with consistent posts and hopefully some motivation to continue to try to be those things we all wish we could do/be better. :) Whoever finds this blog and posts a comment on it first will win a $20 SUPER GIFT CERTIFICATE FROM GIFT CERTIFICATES.COM!!! BTW - Besides another new post tomorrow, I will also attempt to eat less sugar by writing down everything I eat (something I've wanted to try for a long time) AND I will attempt to organize my computer desk/cabinet...wait until you see the mess!! God Bless!!
I'm saved, I am a full-time stepmother, I also have 2 biological children, I have ugly stuff in my past, but I am forgiven, I love my friends, I love God, I love my husband and my amazing children (all 3 of them), I love this Blog thing, I love to bake, hmmmm...there's lots more, but I'll stop there. :)