Thursday, October 30, 2008

TIME WILL TELL



I'd thought I'd write in orange to honor the fall season and all the beautiful pumpkins! :)  Have you ever been at a point in your life where there was a possibility that things might change forever?  Maybe you are thinking of the night before you got married, or when you took your first pregnancy test, or the night day before your first "due date".  Well, my life is at one of those crossroads.  Sometime either tomorrow or on Monday I will find out whether or not my step-daughter will continue to live here with her dad and I.  A court psychiatrist was assigned to evaluate everyone involved in this and make a recommendation to the judge as to where would be best for her  - here or there.  My husband has had custody of her since she was 11 months old.  She is now 8, soon to be 9.  I have been fortunate enough to raise her for the majority of her life so far.  She had just turned 3 when we got married.  Her mother has fought for custody since losing her in the very beginning.  Yes, for almost 8 years my husband has had to defend his right to raise his daughter.  Because he is in the USMC, we have moved several times and each time she re-tries the custody case because it is a new state and therefore a new jurisdiction to hear her crap/lies.  Our justice system has a lot of corrections to be made...this being one of them.  We have spent over $200,000 on this and it seems to never have an end in sight...until my step-daughter is old enough to choose (12 yrs old).   There is much much more to this story (including a MONUMENTAL mistake I made early in our marriage that gave her mother even more to attack us with), but basically by this time on Tuesday (at the latest) my whole world might change.  I had to blog about this because it is eating up every single second I am not doing something.  My 4 yr old and my 15 month old would miss her terribly.  She is an incredible child....difficult, but incredible.  This is NOT to say that it has been a piece of cake to raise her and love her....it has not, but now that I am forced to think that there's a 50% chance she could be gone after the holidays I realize the gift I have been given the past couple of years.  Although I often think of the "alone times" most people have when they first get married that we did not have and the times where I just wanted to go back to being "child-less" (this was very early in our marriage), I wouldn't change any of the time I've had with her.  She has made me more patient, more understanding, more care-free, and changed my perspective in so many ways.  God - please hear our prayers....don't take her away from us.  

1 comment:

Just me.....Shelly said...

Oh, Beca...I am so sorry to hear about this battle, and hope everyone comes out unscathed by the emotional turmoil I am sure it causes...
THank you for the e-certificate!! happy halloween and have a great weekend.....try to at least!